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[ website | be my escape ]
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[21 Nov 2007|06:57am]
 its 7am and i an sitting here thinking i am so hungry and i don't really want to do anything today but i got to go to my moms and get ready for thanksgiving blah. i want my fucking paintball gun fixed eeerrrr.... well i suck
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[25 Mar 2007|08:37am]
[ mood | awake ]

on friday i went to the doctors yet again. he changed my meds again. so now i am on prozac, trazodone, and cephalexin. so we will see if these ones help. i have an infection so i am taking meds for that. i am looking for a new theorpist. there ain't many in so ro.

work!!! i have to work alot more which kinda sucks but i want the money and the job is easy so.... i work sun, mon, tues, thurs. so that should be fun.

i think i am going back to my grams for like two weeks so that should be fun i get to bring princess. she has been really depressed lately and my mom and uncles think it would be good for me to go there and give her something to go.

yesterday i went down stairs to feed my rats and jackson had died. i think he died cuz he was old or the other 2 killed him i am not sure. but i feel so bad and its really sad so i descided to give the other two away cuz i have no time for them and its not fair to them to sit in a cage all the time.

OOOOHHHH i got my hair cut emoish its cute but i think i will get sick of doing it. maybe not.

i want to go get some new CDs and books but i  never have time. kinda annoying.

ashley leaves tuesday for a month and i am sad about that. but i will get over it.

i have been in a shitty ass mood lately and its getting old like nothing makes me happy. i am just about sick of it.

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[05 Feb 2007|12:47pm]
[ mood | pissed off ]

so a list of shit missing from my room when i got back from smith. 

2 six packs of beer
1 bottle of peach shnups (sp) 
1 bottle of ceme de mint
2 packs of marb reds
4 pipes 
1/8 of weed
1 web cam
1 bag of seeds
1 sandwich bag of resin 
7 oxycodone
3 boxes of condoms
and stuff that i haven't noticed yet.

so i decside that i have to leave this house i can't take not feeling comfortable in MY own house. i feel like i have to be on gard all in time. its fucking shitty that i feel this way. i KNOW who fucking took all my shit. 

this is to you: you remember the day you threated to kill yourself i wish you had done it! everyone wished you did it, even your OWN mother. you are a worthless piece of shit and no one wants you around. you respected no one, you care about no one, you take advantage of ppl, you steal from your own family! your own grandmother. that is fucked up. i can't believe you stole $700 from a 75 year old women. how fucked up can you be to do that. you have hit your mother several times and you don't feel bad about it. you destroy our house and break up our family that we tried to get you out of. but mom feels bad for you. even thou you threaten to KILL her. i wonder what your GF has coming to her. good luck to her and i hope she sees you for what you really are but by then it will probably be to late. 

anyways on a good note. lastnight was the super bowl the colts won. me and ashley got i lil tipsy and we were going crazy! we laughed so much that our stomaches hurt. we tried to sneek up on melissa and kala while they were sleeping to take pics of them but it didnt work.

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[09 Nov 2006|01:06pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

that was so weird and comfortable i don't know why but it was and now i feel depressed!

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[28 Sep 2006|08:14am]

Take My Quiz on

Can you Ace my quiz?
Let's Find Out!

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[23 Jan 2006|03:29pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]


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[25 May 2005|09:00am]



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[01 Apr 2005|10:07am]
made a new AIM profile chack it out!!!!
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pics.... [10 Mar 2005|07:12am]
[ mood | i can't sleep anymore ]

friends wowCollapse )

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[19 Jan 2005|08:07am]

image made by: rock_that_beat</div>
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[22 Aug 2004|11:55pm]
The Scary Truth About Your Friends (eddie izzard style) by Mellifera
Wants a "cup of coffee"brokenandraw
Hides their makeup in a tree_xylophonetrees
Vegetarian painter_broken_scream_
Was on the moon with Stevefailedmiserably
Poked a badger with a spoonone_way__street
Puts babies on spikessp_lover
Can run about in heels and not fall overmesawest
Under house arrestinjin
Carries a brick in their handbagrock_that_beat
Never played Risk as a kidblondestick2008
Ich bin ein Berlinnerwith_no_return
Quiz created with MemeGen!
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[22 Aug 2004|11:46pm]
Your Inner Gangsta by crash_and_burn
What is yo name?
Yo gangsta name bePlatinum Ringa
You ride around in aNeon Pink H2 Hummer
Yo gangGary Coleman's Alleycat Thugs
Yo shoes beThigh-high go-go boots
Yo dubs be dis big, fool1,969
How much money you got?$1.25425358524707e+26
How gangsta are you, bitch?: 65%
Quiz created with MemeGen!
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[22 Aug 2004|11:21pm]
[ mood | crushed ]

just hang out with bridget and Abby...i don't think abby likes me but whatever don't really care...we drove around pointlessly for like an hour...i am still really depressed and not much up for anything...i haven't eatin anything since thurs. i think that i am making my self sick but i don't care...well time to try to sleep...

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[21 Aug 2004|09:16am]
[ mood | i can't explain ]

I sit here and cry....you siad you loved me, you said you cared, you said that you would never hurt me, you said you would never leave me...

no matter how much you hate me or don't want me around i will always love you and nothing will change that...i care about you more than anyone else...i can't change the way i feel...you are everything that i ever wanted in a friend...i knew this day was coming i just didn't think that it would be so soon...

i wish that i could change your mind......

i would do anything to change your mind....

i just don't unerstand....

last night i went to leb. and got the new Avril CD its ok but i only like.. like three songs...i got my cable internet now...its great...i am hurting so much inside...started cutting again....just want to die...i am never going to make it anywhere in this world...and everyone knows it...and they have finailly given up on me...i just want to be like everyone else...i wish ppl wouldn't hate me cause of my family...i couldn't choose them...i wish ppl wouldn't label from what everyone else says....i wish ppl would just take the time to get to know me before they label me...i am going to miss high school so much...i wish i could rewind time and go back to being a no care in the world freshmen...it would better then the shitty life that i am leading right now...i wish Andrea was still here. i miss her so much..i wish i could stop being a pussy and get some balls... i am afraid of ppl not excepting me!!!

if i could change anything in this world it would me immuture little me!!!

i wish i could excepted that i am all grown up and i need to move on...I NEED TO STOPPING BEING A PUSSY!!! and face the real world!!

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GUESS WHO I AM GOING TO FUCK>>>> [20 Aug 2004|11:07pm]
[ mood | shitty,mad,hurt, angry, ]

Would anyone want to bang you? by phobia
Favorite Food:
Wants to Bang you:
This many times:230
Quiz created with MemeGen!
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[04 Aug 2004|07:38pm]
[ mood | sad ]

hey everyone beaner finally had her kittens...she had four...mine is named Tequila and kayleighs is named bicardi...kayleigh is fucking grounded for the rest of the summer because kim found our weed and pipes and alcohol...i feel really bad because half of the stuff was mine and she is getting in trouble for all of it...i went horse backriding my ass hurts....and nomar got fucking traded to the cubs....i really want to go see kayleigh i haven't seen her in like a week...my mom leaves tomorrow for mass...i have so many things running through my head and i need to talk to someone...all i have wanted to do is cry all day and i feel so guilty that kayleigh got caught with my stuff...and i can't do anything about it...well i have no internet at my house right now but i will soon and i will try to write more when i get it back... kk bye

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[25 Jul 2004|11:10am]
so....yesterday courtney and erica went home then i went yard sailing with my mother and we talked about alot of stuff. we are suppose to go to mass. on the 14th to a family thing and i want kayleigh to go... first my mom says she can't then shes says that she can...i am all confused...so i called to talk to kayleigh about it and she told me that kim didn't want her to go. so then i went to dinner with my mom and herb. when we got home i called kayleigh and then i went and picked her up at like 9:30 and she stayed over night. we just brought her home cuz she had to watch her dog.

oh don't delete me off your friends list my mom is moving so we are get a new internet thing...my internet gets shut off tomorrow kk
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[23 Jul 2004|09:50pm]
[ mood | ushamed ]

I did something yesterday that I regret I wish that i had never yelled at kayleigh I know that it isn't her fault that she is bitchy....when she gets back on her meds things will be better... but I still had a really good time with her yesterday.......we went to the dump that was really fun...NOT....we went swimming and caught a bunch of crayfish...they all died cause we forgot to put wholes in the bucket....we went to the garage and drove a stanard car and kayleigh is really good at it except the starting part...I on the other hand I suck an asswhole at it....then we drove a dodge magnum...we had to park it for my stepdad...we had to wash the neon that we drove then I brought kaleigh home.



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[20 Jul 2004|10:59am]
looking at bmx mag. ....waiting for the cable guy to get here to fix the t.v. and waiting for my older sis tera to get here...
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[18 Jul 2004|11:26pm]
[ mood | content ]

its like almost midnight and i can't sleep i am

really bored....i haven't updated i a while but not much

has happened...i met my aunts sister from miami FL. she

doesn't speak english...my real dad came over this morning

to get my brother and sister and he didn't talk to me.... i

don't really care but i think that it is rude to go to

someone's house and not say anything to them...my rent a

dad wants me and kayleigh to clean the apts. before my mom

leaves so we can get they rented....the twins are back

YEAH.....not that i care...jenny was here today....talked

to t-dawg....and that it

oh i am looking for a little dog that i can carry around heifer is i bit big to carry...i really want a rat terrier white and brown...

beaner is getting ready to pop i think that she is going to have like 6 babys

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